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The Super Team....is this fair....Clay and Sue are in the article

The rules are different in the DMV. Private school transfers are all eligible immediately ... when I told the reporter that kids had to sit out for at least six weeks and maybe the whole year, he was shocked. Honesty Scott-Grayson will likely attend four high schools in four years and never miss a game ... and one player left PVI and went to Riverdale Baptist and was eligible immediately.

Note, please, that the sky has not fallen as a result ...
 
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The rules are different in the DMV. Private school transfers are all eligible immediately ... when I told the reporter that kids had to sit out for at least six weeks and maybe the whole year, he was shocked. Honesty Scott-Grayson will likely attend four high schools in four years and never miss a game ... and one player left PVI and went to Riverdale Baptist and was eligible immediately.

Note, please, that the sky has not fallen as a result ...

Clay,

Honesty is a good player, has played on the USA team, and is very competitive on the EYBL circuit. Why the constant change in high schools? What does she have to gain?
 
Now I really don't understand why we didn't see Paul at Iolani, the WCJ, the Nike TOC...
Title IX.....wierd.....so is that considered good coaching.....strange that the parents and players wouldn't challenge the coach. ...
Why would a great player want to go to Paul...
 
To repeat myself: TOC (finals); WCJ (more expensive than Florida and no expenses); Iolani (don't know if they are a Nike team, which you have to be to be invited).

Could have played a tougher schedule, but Male in Florida proved to be a quality win. Stronger strength of schedule than most of the teams in the X25.

I don't know why you keep beating this dead horse ...
 
Now I really don't understand why we didn't see Paul at Iolani, the WCJ, the Nike TOC...
Title IX.....wierd.....so is that considered good coaching.....strange that the parents and players wouldn't challenge the coach. ...
Why would a great player want to go to Paul...

Jazzpt55,

Obviously parents and children have to do what they feel is in their child's (and family's) best interest regardless to whether or not it seems right or normal. To better understand any circumstance the blanks have to be totally filled in. Otherwise your left speculating and how accurate is that?

It's easy to judge based on limited outside information. I would prefer to talk with say Honesty and her parents to try and get a better feel for why such unusual and/ or often movement. But then again, I'm one of "those" parents. One who would prefer to credit or blame oneself than leave it in the questionable hands of someone else. Smile..... LOL

I think it is fair to say parents get it wrong often. But to say parents are always wrong or at fault always is inaccurate. You really need all the information. Now for a parent to tell a child not to work through reasonable adversity is probably wrong IMO. And to give up and quit on your team may also be building bad character. But you really need to know all the reasons that motivate the decisions before passing the judgement IMO. Because even if parents were wrong 80% of the time, you have to keep an open mind for the other 20%. And even if the coach or the program/school was a good fit 80% of the time, you have to believe it could be the wrong fit 20 % of the time. And most parents want to do what is best for their children all the time, even when they are wrong.
 
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Most transfers are a result of the parents, plain and simple. If you disagree, look in the mirror.

I don't agree, as this was not the case with my kid. I did all I could to encourage her to stay at SMS, but SHE was just not happy there, and it started to affect other aspects of our lives. Now if it was just about basketball, she would have stayed, but the overall happiness of a kid needs to be the priority.
 
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I don't agree, as this was not the case with my kid. I did all I could to encourage her to stay at SMS, but SHE was just not happy there, and it started to affect other aspects of
our livers. Now if it was just about basketball, she would have stayed, but the overall happiness of a kid needs to be the priority.

kkross22,

Your situation is a prime example of why you need to fill in the blanks before judging and blaming anyone.That includes these so call rogue and overbearing/questionable/ caring parents.
 
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Jazzpt55,

Obviously parents and children have to do what they feel is in their child's best interest regardless to whether or not it seems right or normal. To better understand any circumstance the blanks have to be totally filled in. Otherwise your left speculating and how accurate is that?

It's easy to judge based on limited outside information. I would prefer to talk with say Honesty and her parents to try and get a better feel for why such unusual and/ or often movement. But then again, I'm one of "those" parents. One who would prefer to credit or blame oneself than leave it in the questionable hands of someone else. Smile..... LOL

I think it is fair to say parents get it wrong often. But to say parents are always wrong or at fault always is inaccurate. You really need all the information. Now for a parent to tell a child not to work through reasonable adversity is probably wrong IMO. And to give up and quit on your team may also be building bad character. But you really need to know all the reasons that motivate the decisions before passing the judgement IMO. Because even if parents were wrong 80% of the time, you have to keep an open mind for the other 20%. And even if the coach or the program/school was a good fit 80% of the time, you have to believe it could be the wrong fit 20 % of the time. And most parents want to do what is best for their children all the time, even when they are wrong.

I agree with you, when refer to working through adversity because Sierra definitely wanted to transfer sooner, like sophomore and junior year, but I made her stick it out. And a lot of people who have judged the situation automatically assume the transfer was triggered by how the season ended. But what people don't know is we almost transferred Sierra out before the TOC in December, but we put the team/program before the needs of Sierra because she/we did not want to let her teammates down. She definitely took one for her team and so did our whole family.
 
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I agree with you, when refer to working through adversity because Sierra definitely wanted to transfer sooner, like sophomore and junior year, but I made her stick it out. And a lot of people who have judged the situation automatically assume the transfer was triggered by how the season ended. But what people don't know is we almost transferred Sierra out before the TOC in December, but we put the team/program before the needs of Sierra because she/we did not want to let her teammates down. She definitely took one for her team and so did our whole family.
She would have never transferred if it wasn't for her mom , don't sugarcoat. Great kid , mom?
 
She would have never transferred if it wasn't for her mom , don't sugarcoat. Great kid , mom?

Hi Tom. Nothing to sugarcoat. I am sure you can recall the VARIOUS conversations we had, after freshmen year, then again after sophomore year, and especially in December of junior year, right before the TOC, regarding Sierra being unhappy and not just about the basketball aspect, but the whole experience. It is not a secret that we butted heads at times, but I never let our relationship, or lack thereof, affect your relationship with Sierra. My kid was always respectful, yes Coach, ok Coach, called you Coach not Tom. She didn't talk back, like some others, and no matter how you treated her, she worked her butt off for you and her team.
Please don't come on here stirring up unnecessary drama because it can get real ugly. I did not mention you, but if you want to take it there, we can, and it wouldn't be good for you. So please, let go of the animosity!!! Cause there is none here.
 
I'm sure Tom could respond with some very interesting stories, unfortunately I'm not him and if he wants to address he will, but I do no firsthand what took place so I don't think u want to go there.
 
Btw , no one should go to St Marys for basketball, they should go for the whole experience , academics and the whole social experience.

I agree. No one should choose any high school or college for just basketball, should be a good fit all away around. And we based our decision on just that. SMS is academically challenging with a very supportive staff, which was a must, as academics is the priority in our household. We all know about the basketball program. And socially, Sierra had a couple of friends/associates there, so we thought it was a fit. But outside of being an athlete, socially Sierra complained about not really fitting in. She left all her friends and family behind, including her Dad, who before moving to Stockton she spent a substantial amount of time with. Her academic schedule was crazy, and her basketball schedule (Monday-Saturday) made it impossible to visit with her dad and friends over the weekend. Most of her weekends and time off was spent in the house with her annoying little sisters (LOL).
And since Tom wants to make it seem like it was ALL about me, what exactly did I get from her transferring? Hhhhmmm?! Well my husband and I moved our family to Stockton to support our kid, who had been following SMS since she was in elementary school and so badly wanted to attend. With no friends in Stockton, and most of our family in the Bay Area, our younger daughters and our social lives also took a huge hit. And we had no support system whatsoever because we left that behind. Oh, and while Sierra attended the prestigious SM, our girls got stuck at the local elementary school in the crappy Stockton Unified School District.
But wait a minute, it gets better. Sierra moved back to the Bay Area with her dad, transfers to Salesian, gets to be around family and her friends on an everyday basis, but the rest of our family still remains in Stockton, so we barely get to spend time with her.
So Tom, I would love for you to explain, as a mother, exactly how the decision for Sierra to transfer was about me? Makes no sense whatsoever.
 
I'm sure Tom could respond with some very interesting stories, unfortunately I'm not him and if he wants to address he will, but I do no firsthand what took place so I don't think u want to go there.

If you say so TOM...... For you not to be him, you sure have posted some things verbatim that he has said to me in either a private conversation or text message. And how would you know anything firsthand if you weren't there. I showed up for games, sat with my little family, didn't share much with anyone.
Either way, you should really leave it alone.
 
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I don't know anything about this situation and my comment was generic in that most of the time transferring is due to parents, not the kids and this includes leaving one district/school for another from 8th to 9th grade.

RB81 nailed it, it needs to be a overall decision and absent one of the reasons to attend one would stay enrolled. When my boys went through their experience, I explained to them that their mom and I pick the high school and they get to pick the college. While they could have gone to a more prestigious hs we kept them in our local private school to attend school with kids they grew up with. It worked out okay.
 
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I agree with you, when refer to working through adversity because Sierra definitely wanted to transfer sooner, like sophomore and junior year, but I made her stick it out. And a lot of people who have judged the situation automatically assume the transfer was triggered by how the season ended. But what people don't know is we almost transferred Sierra out before the TOC in December, but we put the team/program before the needs of Sierra because she/we did not want to let her teammates down. She definitely took one for her team and so did our whole family.

kkross22,

Sierra has to learn to look out for Sierra because in the long run that's who will be with her for the whole ride through this existence known best by the name called "Life." And in this new social media driven world people better create some tough skin. Because it's gonna be pretty common to expect to deal on occasion with Trolls, critics, haters, racist, and others with low to no self esteem. Outsiders may find a reason to judge or dislike you based on jealousy, or them not liking your personality, your truthfulness, confidence, wit, charm, success, free speech, etc..... Sierra brought a lot to SMS and they were very, very, successful during her time there. So I'm sure the decision to leave wasn't easy and most likely had other layers involved than just basketball. But I'm sure the basketball sacrifice, blood, sweat, and tears was a heck of a load to bring to SMS and to move away from SMS. But from the outside looking in you should all focus on the good that was gained while at SMS ( winning the highest level of the TOC and upsetting MD with Katie Lou as a starting sophomore) And playing and starting on the #1 team in the nation will always remain on the resume. But moving into a situation that is best for Sierra and family in this uncertain life time should be top priority IMO. You gave SMS more than enough, especially if it caused a toll and ripple effect throughout your family as it appears to have done. Hopefully Sierra and family pull it all back together better than ever. I have a good feeling it will all work out for the best in the long run.
 
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kkross22,

Sierra has to learn to look out for Sierra because in the long run that's who will be with her for the whole ride through this existence known best by the name called "Life." And in this new social media driven world people better create some tough skin. Because it's gonna be pretty common to expect to deal on occasion with Trolls, critics, haters, racist, and others with low to no self esteem. Outsiders may find a reason to judge or dislike you based on jealousy, or them not liking your personality, confidence, wit, charm, success, free speech, etc..... Sierra brought a lot to SMS and they were very, very, successful during her time there. So I'm sure the decision to leave wasn't easy and most likely had other layers involved than just basketball. But I'm sure the basketball sacrifice, blood, sweat, and tears was a heck of a load to bring to SMS and to move away from SMS. But from the outside looking in you should all focus on the good that was gained while at SMS ( winning the highest level of the TOC and upsetting MD with Katie Lou as a starting sophomore) And playing and starting on the #1 team in the nation will always remain on the resume. But moving into a situation that is best for Sierra and family in this uncertain life time should be top priority IMO. You gave SMS more than enough, especially if it caused a toll and ripple effect throughout your family as it appears to have done. Hopefully Sierra and family pull it all back together better than ever. I have a good feeling it will all work out for the best in the long run.

Paytc,

I appreciate your take/outlook on the situation.

It has been bittersweet, being successful at the highest level, then having to make the very hard decision to leave it behind. It's crazy how people only want to focus on the (transfer), but not concerned about the actual reasons, and the effect it has on the actual kid. It just let's you know who is in it for self, and who honestly cares about these kids.
Go ahead and blame it on the parents (mom), but as a coach, or someone close to the situation, what you should be asking/concerned with is what could I have done, if anything, to avoid another smart, talented, unselfish, well mannered, coachable, good all around kid from leaving my program.
 
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Back to the initial post....does it make sense to create these super programs...and then not challenge your team....
 
Paytc,

I appreciate your take/outlook on the situation.

It has been bittersweet, being successful at the highest level, then having to make the very hard decision to leave it behind. It's crazy how people only want to focus on the (transfer), but not concerned about the actual reasons, and the effect it has on the actual kid. It just let's you know who is in it for self, and who honestly cares about these kids.
Go ahead and blame it on the parents (mom), but as a coach, or someone close to the situation, what you should be asking/concerned with is what could I have done, if anything, to avoid another smart, talented, unselfish, well mannered, coachable, good all around kid from leaving my program.

Exactly ! And that concern (for children and their families) should be what those who rush to judgement should also have instead of being quick to judge based on a dislike for those who say or do things you don't like, approve of, or care to understand. Or an obsession to win at all cost( negative competition) which in my opinion is harmful and happens far too often. There are lives here that are much more important than the game. Perhaps, just perhaps, there is a legitimate reason for decisions to change or speak out. Not everyone is the same. Nor is everyone's situation the same. And authority is not always automatically right. And often times it takes far more courage to speak out or take a stand, or try to better understand things, even when it is not politically correct, than those who are quick to bash or rush to judgement have.

Just remember in this new world thick skin will help you not sink but swim through the madness. Like the homie Pac said...."Keep your head up".
 
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