Like I'm really gonna start naming parents of current and former players. But if you meet some of them as I have over the years the stories have been consistent. These stories have been behind the scenes before there was trouble in Paradise. But I can only go by what I've been told from people who have experienced those situations. There may be others with positives but from what I understand those are far and few between. Great basketball coach tho. The proof is in the pudding for winning. But as much of an asshole that you think Geno is even his players love him and will run through a brick wall for him.
Tom Gonsalves has resigned at St Mary’s
- Thread starter Streak One
- Start date
Like I'm really gonna start naming parents of current and former players. But if you meet some of them as I have over the years the stories have been consistent. These stories have been behind the scenes before there was trouble in Paradise. But I can only go by what I've been told from people who have experienced those situations. There may be others with positives but from what I understand those are far and few between. Great basketball coach tho. The proof is in the pudding for winning. But as much of an asshole that you think Geno is even his players love him and will run through a brick wall for him.
I'll admit that I took Alot of the chatter and convos I had with people with a grain of salt about Tom. But now that this is unfolding in front of our eyes people who i'd spoken with before are saying "see I was telling you that". I remember you were saying the same thing on this board. I guess it was hard for me to believe and accept a coach that had that much success wasn't viewed favorably by the players he coached. But what other choice did top level serious hoop gurlz have in the Stockton area. I'm happy they get a fresh start and pray things won't be too bad for them with the CIF.
Interesting. I know 4 kids and their parents. I asked them. None have those thoughts. These 4 all went to college to play basketball. Now did they say he was harsh and demanding. Sure. But no hate. If you wanna do chants and play nice enroll at your local public school where the PE teacher is the coach.
If those parents had all these horror stories why'd they stay? Was the rings too much to pass up?
Maybe you can answer the question from my last post. "what other choice did top level serious hoop gurlz have in the Stockton area?" It ain't private school Central in the valley or Sac when it comes to girls basketball.
That sounds like bad parenting to me. Put your child through mental and verbal abuse by some terrible coach. If you elite you elite. You arent limited to St Mary's. If you can play you can transfer to Manteca or Kimball and be a a star for real.
You can have the best player on the planet, but if those coaches can't draw attention from coaches they won't be seen. You have to be aware to recruit. I've seen plenty of talented girls get lost in the shuffle and not fully develop the way they would have at a better program. I won't go as far as saying bad parenting, but I'm sure some kids and parents felt it was their best bet to get to that next level. Like I said before, coaching wise I believe the proof is in the pudding when it comes to Xs and Os with Tom. I've never had a child play for Tom so I can't speak from my experience on the personal level. But I can take in the information and sum it up.
Parents stay in Stockton because you can get a 3 bedroom, 2 bath apartment in a "nice" part of Stockton(Stockton nice) for $1050 a month ...I did it ....Parents will put up with a lot for that...and convince themselves things are not that bad
So what you are saying is his development and program are top notch. He is just a terrible person. And talented girls get recruited. If you can play they will come. Especially with the internet and aau. Your high school stats and team are second. Coaches realize public school girl is stuck playing at local school versus inferior comp. Anyone who could actually make the team and st marys and be a contributor could go to their local school and still scholarship. It is not that hard to land a spot at Humbolt St or Pacific Union. So I agree it was their best bet and they made a business decision. Just said that they now got so much to say and risked their child's mental state over it.
I don't think it's easy to land at any D1-3 school. To suggest that those programs are just giving away scholarships is just plain old stupid. Recruiting at a place like Sonoma, Humboldt, Anchorage, or any smaller town is very hard, yet they don't just take anyone. You look at a small school like Whitman...they're D3 but in the last 5-10 years been to a few final fours, elite eights, and a national championship game. How many people can actually say they played in a national championship game? It's a very small school and they're VERY selective of the kids they bring on.
This is why some stay.....
You see the success and the high level of competition, followed by many of the players going on to college. And yes, you've seen the coach act like a spoiled brat at games when adversity sets in, but you overlook it, cause you want your daughter to learn to handle anything and become mentally tough. But mostly, you feel like if my girl can play and flourish here, then she might be able to play in college (and of course leading up to this moment, "said coach" has aggressively recruited your daughter and has become like a friend, to make sure you get her there, communicating with you almost daily, until you officially register her at the school. This of course is flattering at first, cause he's supposedly a "legend with multiple state titles and former amazing players").
Then the season starts and they're winning and your daughter is playing and you think......"this is good". You blow almost all teams out (but lose to the top ones), and realize that this system is indeed, very different, often times instead of watching basketball with IQ on display (cause you want your daughter to evolve, and NOT be a robot), you feel like you're watching a "turnover & layup contest" instead of a real basketball game, due to pressing and trapping weaker teams ALL game long. You cringe at the end of games and begin to feel bad for the opposing teenage girls getting demoralized, cause you know how it would feel to be a parent on the other side of the gym. But you figure this must come with the territory and that sportsmanship must take a back seat at this level. But you don't like it.
Then it becomes even more clear that the leader only cares about winning, modeling a "never satisfied" mentality and showing NO positive enthusiasm nor positive excitement EVER and indirectly not allowing the girls to celebrate their successes along the way. And surrounding himself with a "yes staff", that also carry themselves with a "too cool for school" mentality, cause "we're a National program" (I hated that).
The method that gets the team to play hard you wonder?....... belittling them at practice with comparisons to past "better" teams and past "better" players. Using Guilt as the main motivator to get the girls to work hard each day. Pretty soon, the girls aren't feeling excited for competition, they begin feeling like they MUST win or will just feel bad for letting this "coaching legend" down and not living up to the standard that must continue.
When they won the section championship, "said coach" told a reporter, "see how my team isn't celebrating, it's because they have bigger goals". Besides being an insult to the opponent, it wasn't true, they wanted to celebrate, but knew that they shouldn't because he wouldn't have liked that. So for many, their very first championship of any kind, they couldn't sincerely celebrate like teenage girls should be able to do, they had to hold back their excited feelings, to go along with the EGO charade that their leader exibits.
Okay so now, no doubt your feeling like this "national program" stuff is overrated, and maybe a happy medium would be better?..... but guess what, my daughter now really likes the school and has connected with friends and has been doing well academically. Do I pull her out of a good school environment, just because of the coach? Just because of one person? She loves basketball and is not really sure what a normal "winning culture" is, cause she's still a child and it's all new to her. She's trusting dad like she's always done, but its not an easy decision and you defer back to the question, "what's best for my daughter"... big picture wise?
If it was up to me, I'd like my daughter to leave this school, go to their rival and kick this coaches ass! But wait, it's not about me, it's about what's best for my daughter...... this is tough...
From what I've seen, private school is a big sacrifice on many levels, definitely NOT the path of least resistance. Some parents (like me), may be too competitive, and perhaps put too much emphasis into sports. But you remember how much sports impacted your own life in a positive way, so you keep encouraging your kids and making the sacrifice. And you remind yourself about that quote that says.....
"Things always turn out best, for those who make the best, of the way things turn out."
Either way, parents are human and hopefully care enough to be truly involved, being consistently "present" in their lives is as important as anything.
Thank you to SM Admin for making this tough decision! A decision that no doubt, puts the girls best interests ahead of "wins and losses".
You see the success and the high level of competition, followed by many of the players going on to college. And yes, you've seen the coach act like a spoiled brat at games when adversity sets in, but you overlook it, cause you want your daughter to learn to handle anything and become mentally tough. But mostly, you feel like if my girl can play and flourish here, then she might be able to play in college (and of course leading up to this moment, "said coach" has aggressively recruited your daughter and has become like a friend, to make sure you get her there, communicating with you almost daily, until you officially register her at the school. This of course is flattering at first, cause he's supposedly a "legend with multiple state titles and former amazing players").
Then the season starts and they're winning and your daughter is playing and you think......"this is good". You blow almost all teams out (but lose to the top ones), and realize that this system is indeed, very different, often times instead of watching basketball with IQ on display (cause you want your daughter to evolve, and NOT be a robot), you feel like you're watching a "turnover & layup contest" instead of a real basketball game, due to pressing and trapping weaker teams ALL game long. You cringe at the end of games and begin to feel bad for the opposing teenage girls getting demoralized, cause you know how it would feel to be a parent on the other side of the gym. But you figure this must come with the territory and that sportsmanship must take a back seat at this level. But you don't like it.
Then it becomes even more clear that the leader only cares about winning, modeling a "never satisfied" mentality and showing NO positive enthusiasm nor positive excitement EVER and indirectly not allowing the girls to celebrate their successes along the way. And surrounding himself with a "yes staff", that also carry themselves with a "too cool for school" mentality, cause "we're a National program" (I hated that).
The method that gets the team to play hard you wonder?....... belittling them at practice with comparisons to past "better" teams and past "better" players. Using Guilt as the main motivator to get the girls to work hard each day. Pretty soon, the girls aren't feeling excited for competition, they begin feeling like they MUST win or will just feel bad for letting this "coaching legend" down and not living up to the standard that must continue.
When they won the section championship, "said coach" told a reporter, "see how my team isn't celebrating, it's because they have bigger goals". Besides being an insult to the opponent, it wasn't true, they wanted to celebrate, but knew that they shouldn't because he wouldn't have liked that. So for many, their very first championship of any kind, they couldn't sincerely celebrate like teenage girls should be able to do, they had to hold back their excited feelings, to go along with the EGO charade that their leader exibits.
Okay so now, no doubt your feeling like this "national program" stuff is overrated, and maybe a happy medium would be better?..... but guess what, my daughter now really likes the school and has connected with friends and has been doing well academically. Do I pull her out of a good school environment, just because of the coach? Just because of one person? She loves basketball and is not really sure what a normal "winning culture" is, cause she's still a child and it's all new to her. She's trusting dad like she's always done, but its not an easy decision and you defer back to the question, "what's best for my daughter"... big picture wise?
If it was up to me, I'd like my daughter to leave this school, go to their rival and kick this coaches ass! But wait, it's not about me, it's about what's best for my daughter...... this is tough...
From what I've seen, private school is a big sacrifice on many levels, definitely NOT the path of least resistance. Some parents (like me), may be too competitive, and perhaps put too much emphasis into sports. But you remember how much sports impacted your own life in a positive way, so you keep encouraging your kids and making the sacrifice. And you remind yourself about that quote that says.....
"Things always turn out best, for those who make the best, of the way things turn out."
Either way, parents are human and hopefully care enough to be truly involved, being consistently "present" in their lives is as important as anything.
Thank you to SM Admin for making this tough decision! A decision that no doubt, puts the girls best interests ahead of "wins and losses".
Thats an absolute Norcalpreps all time mic drop in my time on here.
Great post @Valleycat209
It's easy to criticize the parent especially if someone has never been in that situation let alone have kids. Parenting doesnt come with a handbook.
It's easy to criticize the parent especially if someone has never been in that situation let alone have kids. Parenting doesnt come with a handbook.
Last edited:
Who else is there to criticize? Kids cant make the decision on what's really best for them.
I dont disagree that some parents hated it. But it's all so odd that all the sudden he is being talked about like this. And nobody ever had it in them to step to him in 20 years.
Be real. How does a parent step to a coach at that level when he is your only option? You could jeopardize your kids standing with the coach. I know you don't have kids but you do have some common sense bruh. You've had good logical contributions on this thread before. In the real world if you could lose your job you are more likely to be quiet and deal with it internally.
Last edited:
Do your history on Brookside. Brookside cost too much in tuition and didn't have the boosters to support the program. How did Brookside Christian girls hoops do last year? Ask Pico
Last edited:
Just one point about scholarships: Because women's basketball has 15 scholarships to men's 13, and because so many female athletes with the requisite athleticism play volleyball, there are more Division I scholarships for girls than there are Division I players -- so there's no need for families to push as hard as they do in high school and club to get their daughter "seen." Of course club and high school coaches will preach otherwise, but the truth is if you are good enough and do just a little reaching out, they will find you, even if all you do is play for a small high school.
Proof: Name a girl with Division I talent, decent grades and a decent attitude/parents who did not get a D-1 scholarship. (And think about some girls with D-1 rides who many of us think really weren't at that level.)
Proof: Name a girl with Division I talent, decent grades and a decent attitude/parents who did not get a D-1 scholarship. (And think about some girls with D-1 rides who many of us think really weren't at that level.)
When you are speaking of your child. There is no rule or code. If the mental abuse was so egregious then you do what you have to do. Protecting your child by any means. That is my point. I think these parents are now bumping their gums when he is no use to them. But while there they were clapping and cheering along and posting #Rams4life #15timechamps. Now all the sudden life was a hellhole? I just dont like the way it is playing out when if it was truly that big a deal 95% would have pulled their child immediately. Again basketball isnt worth a child being abused.
My point exactly. And you are only talking D1. That means it gets easier and easier as the levels go down because they NEED the players. Not a knock just the facts. That said there are tons of girls who try hard and play varsity basketball for the fun. Those girls are applauded too. But if you really wanted that scholarship it is attainable with the right work ethic and desire.
Stagg...I used to work across the street from that place....that street behind March...my client ...a preacher got his car vandalized twice in the Inshape parking lot...the second time they took his Bible with all his notes in it
Come on man....you steal the mans Bible....
Then They broke into his house right behind St Mary’s and he said F this place so he moved to live with his daughter in the Bay Area
There's more to basketball than just scoring and not everyone scored 15+ppg. Think about kids who can board, defend, and play a little offense...the kids you scratch you head and say..how the heck did he/she get that scholarship only to find out a few years later they're getting tons of minutes because they can do things others can't...the other stuff besides scoring. You'll find that at every level.
Clay, I disagree with your take. It is extremely difficult to earn a D1 scholarship. Latest numbers show for every 88 players in the US, 1 earns a D1 spot. Add in the fact the more than 500 player in the transfer portal are now completing with graduation seniors for those open spots.
I believe the fallacy in your argument is that while there are 15 spots on each D1 program, not all are filled - some coaches like a light roster. Additionally, while there may be a spot available in Iowa, or Minn.,those usually get taken by more regional players.
Then you have to look at the level the school plays at - Stanford, UConn, Tenn is going to go after that very rare athlete, so knock off 20 or so schools and their 15 each spots that the majority of player can't qualify for. The truth is the majority of D1 caliber players are low to mid major level, and most of those will only be recruited regionally - if you're a low d1 quality player playing in a somewhat weak league (PAL), you're not on most school's radar - Montana, Iowa St or Miss St. isn't sending a recruiter to watch Burlingame vs. San Mateo.
I personally know of many borderline players that did not receive a D1 offer, players that are all state players. I won't name names as they don't need to see it, but it is much more common than what you are presenting. Finally, most borderline players, if they receive an offer, receive 1 or maybe 2 only,
Here's my question to you: name 2 girls that earned a D1 ride that didn't either play at a higher performing school, or play for a fairly strong travel team. I can't think of any.
your car will definitely get broken in if you live in the bay. i am on number 3 break in within the last 14 months.
and bruh you have been from hawaii then moved to stockton?!?!?!? you high??
The old line of “if you’re good enough, they’ll find you” is completely untrue. Totally agree you better be at a high profile HS or high profile club...or both
i mean you kind of proved my point. that it doesnt take alot of over the top talent to get a scholarship in womens basketball. There are plenty to hand out and they will take a chance on alot of girls who do the intangibles.
For argument sake I did state that your aau team is far more important if you do not play on one of the better high schools. However I argued that if you were good enough to contribute at St Marys then you can no doubt dominate burlingame vs san mateo. That will get you somewhere. Plus most girls are better students more than likely so that helps too. As well as all the internet outlets you can use to sell yourself. Your mother and father can send tapes out all over the country. It is alot easier for the girl from Burlingame now.
well you have high profile aau and high school soooooooooooo
But the point is you still have to be on the radar. And unless you are playing for a school on the radar or club on the radar it will be rare. Even if you do dominate in a low league you still won't get the looks unless you play for a top tier club to get you on the radar.
mom and dad better get your mixtape together and email away. But really everyone plays aau now a days so they will get some chance to watch you.
-
on another note... was the warriors team who blew a 3-1 lead better than the 95-96 Bulls?
True with the right club and playing in the right viewing tournaments
Similar threads
