From the Socal Blog.....
: : : : : : : : : : : : : I need advice. My daughter is on a very
successful team. She comes home upset and tells me about all the racist
comments her coach makes. She says most laugh it off. Do we ignore it?
:
: : : : : : : : : : : : No one is their right mind would ignore any
form of racism be it in basketball or any other walks of life. You
should discuss this with the coach and or AD and elevate further if
necessary..
: : : : : : : : : : : The fact that you are asking the
question sheds light on you, the coach and your daughter. Your next move
will determine if that light is good or bad. Choose wisely.
: : :
: : : : : : : If you complain, the coach will get in trouble and your
daughter will be ostracized by the rest of the players. The culture in
girls basketball is that coaches can do whatever they want, break any
rules, yell, scream and make racist comments, but if a parent or player
complain they are "snitches", overbearing, looking for more playing
time, etc. The best thing is to find a way to transfer to another
school next year. Doing anything else can ruin your child's high school
experience.
: : : : : : : : : Your advice is to run? Are you kidding
me? Man the hell up and address the issue. The parent will look bad
to the child in the long run if he/she doesn't . She brought it to the
parents attention for a reason.
: : : : : : : : : Rat him out and get a new coach.
: : : : : : Rat the clown out and teach your kid a life lesson that's clowns don't control her!
:
: : : : Last year one of our coaches threatened some of our players
with physical threats. Our coach was so abusive several parents
complained to each other but never to the head coach or to
administration. Kids were coming home crying and threatening to quit.
To keep the parents from complaining the kids bonded together and vowed
to keep the behind the scenes stuff away from the parents. My child
talked to me about all year. At the end of the season I requested three
meetings with the head coach and each time I was declined. I finally
went to the district and complained. Funny thing was that some parents
were upset that I mentioned their kids names. The coach did not come
back but he was names athletic director. I think it is scary that the
district would allow a teacher to treat our student athletes this way.
Most schools will do nothing
: : : : You're right. Most school will do nothing. Especially if the team is a winning team
:
: : Regardless of what the school or district does or doesn't do you
still have the responsibility of being a parent. Part of that job is
protecting your child. If you do nothing for fear of retaliation then
you should turn in your parent card immediately!
: : I agree that
we should advocate and protect our children. I've seen a couple
occassions where the coach was abusive, not racially, but verbally. It
was elevated to the coach by the players and the parents, who denied an
issue and basically said the kid was a liar and had mental problems. As
the abuse continued, a few parents met with the athletic director who
appeared to be compassionate, concerned and understanding and said that
he would discuss the situation with the coach. Said that the coach, who
was also a teacher was a "good person" and "couldn't imagine" anything
elevating to this position. After a couple of weeks, the verbal insults
slightly minimized and the season ended. Found out that the AD and coach
we're drinking buddies when pictures were posted of the two of them
hanging out on Facebook. The AD basically played the parents, promising
to remedy the situation which in the end was BS. The player transferred
to another school and the coach is still coaching. So, much for
elevating.
: : Another situation, a coach had verbally abused a
player for two years with insults and constant harrassment. The parents
elevated to the AD multiple times and the principal, who they had a long
relationship because of other kids in the school. The AD and principal
totally backed the coach. Oh, the coach had a winning season and was
favored to go far in CIF. The parents hired an attorney and started
legal action against the school. The district intervened and sided with
the AD and coach. The parents transferred the kid to another school,
where she completed her high school education and finished her high
school basketball career.
: : Certainly not saying to give up. We
should fight for our kids and protect them against these bullies. (YES
BULLIES!!) However, be prepared for a long fight which you may or may
not lose. Good lessons for those kids who are on the receiving end. Both
the kids I know who went through this are stronger for it and have
better relationships with their parents. Self-advocation is a good skill
our children need to learn. Many life lessons here.
: I have a
daughter who graduated from a program where every rule was broken by
this coach. Unfortunately we stayed silent and this coach is still
coaching. Some of these programs make it impossible to do be right
thing. We have regrets for not trying.Blah blah blah. Fight for
your child. You will win in some form. It maybe just the respect of your
child but you will win. That is your life lesson.
: : : : : : : : : : : : : I need advice. My daughter is on a very
successful team. She comes home upset and tells me about all the racist
comments her coach makes. She says most laugh it off. Do we ignore it?
:
: : : : : : : : : : : : No one is their right mind would ignore any
form of racism be it in basketball or any other walks of life. You
should discuss this with the coach and or AD and elevate further if
necessary..
: : : : : : : : : : : The fact that you are asking the
question sheds light on you, the coach and your daughter. Your next move
will determine if that light is good or bad. Choose wisely.
: : :
: : : : : : : If you complain, the coach will get in trouble and your
daughter will be ostracized by the rest of the players. The culture in
girls basketball is that coaches can do whatever they want, break any
rules, yell, scream and make racist comments, but if a parent or player
complain they are "snitches", overbearing, looking for more playing
time, etc. The best thing is to find a way to transfer to another
school next year. Doing anything else can ruin your child's high school
experience.
: : : : : : : : : Your advice is to run? Are you kidding
me? Man the hell up and address the issue. The parent will look bad
to the child in the long run if he/she doesn't . She brought it to the
parents attention for a reason.
: : : : : : : : : Rat him out and get a new coach.
: : : : : : Rat the clown out and teach your kid a life lesson that's clowns don't control her!
:
: : : : Last year one of our coaches threatened some of our players
with physical threats. Our coach was so abusive several parents
complained to each other but never to the head coach or to
administration. Kids were coming home crying and threatening to quit.
To keep the parents from complaining the kids bonded together and vowed
to keep the behind the scenes stuff away from the parents. My child
talked to me about all year. At the end of the season I requested three
meetings with the head coach and each time I was declined. I finally
went to the district and complained. Funny thing was that some parents
were upset that I mentioned their kids names. The coach did not come
back but he was names athletic director. I think it is scary that the
district would allow a teacher to treat our student athletes this way.
Most schools will do nothing
: : : : You're right. Most school will do nothing. Especially if the team is a winning team
:
: : Regardless of what the school or district does or doesn't do you
still have the responsibility of being a parent. Part of that job is
protecting your child. If you do nothing for fear of retaliation then
you should turn in your parent card immediately!
: : I agree that
we should advocate and protect our children. I've seen a couple
occassions where the coach was abusive, not racially, but verbally. It
was elevated to the coach by the players and the parents, who denied an
issue and basically said the kid was a liar and had mental problems. As
the abuse continued, a few parents met with the athletic director who
appeared to be compassionate, concerned and understanding and said that
he would discuss the situation with the coach. Said that the coach, who
was also a teacher was a "good person" and "couldn't imagine" anything
elevating to this position. After a couple of weeks, the verbal insults
slightly minimized and the season ended. Found out that the AD and coach
we're drinking buddies when pictures were posted of the two of them
hanging out on Facebook. The AD basically played the parents, promising
to remedy the situation which in the end was BS. The player transferred
to another school and the coach is still coaching. So, much for
elevating.
: : Another situation, a coach had verbally abused a
player for two years with insults and constant harrassment. The parents
elevated to the AD multiple times and the principal, who they had a long
relationship because of other kids in the school. The AD and principal
totally backed the coach. Oh, the coach had a winning season and was
favored to go far in CIF. The parents hired an attorney and started
legal action against the school. The district intervened and sided with
the AD and coach. The parents transferred the kid to another school,
where she completed her high school education and finished her high
school basketball career.
: : Certainly not saying to give up. We
should fight for our kids and protect them against these bullies. (YES
BULLIES!!) However, be prepared for a long fight which you may or may
not lose. Good lessons for those kids who are on the receiving end. Both
the kids I know who went through this are stronger for it and have
better relationships with their parents. Self-advocation is a good skill
our children need to learn. Many life lessons here.
: I have a
daughter who graduated from a program where every rule was broken by
this coach. Unfortunately we stayed silent and this coach is still
coaching. Some of these programs make it impossible to do be right
thing. We have regrets for not trying.Blah blah blah. Fight for
your child. You will win in some form. It maybe just the respect of your
child but you will win. That is your life lesson.
